Communication Skills Self-Assessment Exercise

241.
A. When conversing with others, I usually do most of the talking.

B. When conversing with others, I usually let the other person do most of the talking.

C. When conversing with others, I try to equalize my participation in the conversation.

Best answer: c. Conversations should be a balanced two-way flow of dialogue.

242.
A. I frequently use courtesy words and phrases - "Please," "Thank you," "You're welcome," "I'm sorry."

B. I occasionally use these courtesy words and phrases.

C. I never use these courtesy words and phrases.

Best answer: a. Regular use of these courtesy words and phrases is important to show politeness and build rapport

243.
A. While conversing, I hold my head still at all times.

B. While conversing, I nod my head at appropriate times.

C. While conversing, I nod my head constantly.

Best answer: b. Occasionally nodding your head to indicate you agree or understand helps build rapport. Again, it shows you are interested and engaged in the conversation.

244.
A. When I receive unfavorable feedback, I note where I need to improve.

B. When I receive unfavorable feedback, I get angry and defensive.

C. When I receive unfavorable feedback, I deny the problem, make excuses, or plead ignorance.

Best answer: a. When you receive feedback, it's important to know what you do well, but it's equally important to know where improvements can be made to increase your chances for success. Few people do everything well, and you've undoubtedly heard the saying - "No one is perfect." Simply make note of "weak" areas (we all have them!) and make changes needed. Receiving honest feedback is truly "a gift." It usually means someone cares and wishes to see you succeed.

245.
A. When I have a negative opinion or comment, I just say it.

B. When I have a negative opinion or comment, I lead in with a positive comment first.

C. When I have a negative opinion or comment, I say nothing.

Best answer: b. It's best to say something positive first, then express a negative opinion or comment in a tactful way.

246.
A. While conversing, I stand one-foot away from the person.

B. While conversing, I stand two- to three-feet away from the person.

C. While conversing, I stand five- to six-feet away from the person.

Best answer: b. Your arm's length is the appropriate distance (between two- to three-feet). Standing closer than arm-length makes the other person feel uncomfortable (or feel threatened). Standing a further distance away breaks down rapport.

247.
A. While listening, I tend to be distracted by things going on around me.

B. While listening, I listen for meaning and ask questions.

C. While listening, I watch the person speak, but I don't "hear" a word.

Best answer: b. If you're a good listener, you keep mentally busy searching for for meaning in the message, and you ask questions. This mental "search for meaning" helps keep you focused, attentive, and engaged. If you get easily distracted, try taking notes if the setting is appropriate. Note-taking helps draw and focus your attention as you must mentally "search for meaning" and listen for information in order to take notes. This might be helpful in meetings, for example.

If you watch someone speak but you don't "hear" a word, gauge if you are bored, tired, might have a gap between your speaking and listening rates, or are experiencing "emotional deafness." We all experience emotional deafness on occasion, especially when we're feeling overwhelmed, upset, or nervous. You hear people ask - "I'm sorry, what did you say?" or make the comment - "I have a lot on my mind right now. Could you repeat what you said?" If it's a frequent problem, gauge the source and seek help if needed.

248.
A . When I disagree with a person, I listen first, ask questions for clarification, then disagree non-judgmentally.

B. When I disagree with a person, I quickly point out the person is wrong and why.

C. When I disagree with a person, I say little or nothing.

Best answer: a. It's fine to disagree, but it's important to disagree agreeably. This means you should:

1) show respect for the other person's ideas,
2) listen attentively until the person is done,
3) ask questions if needed,
4) disagree non-judgmentally, and, if possible,
5) offer an alternative solution.

249.
A. When I cross my leg, I cross my leg facing the speaker.

B. When I cross my leg, I cross my leg away from the speaker.

C. When I cross my leg, I bob my foot.

Best answer: a. Crossing your leg toward the speaker shows you're interested, and it builds rapport. Crossing your leg away from the speaker gives the message that you are defensive, disinterested, or feel in charge. In essence, you are putting up a subtle barrier. And if you bob or swing your foot, you're sending the message that you're anxious or nervous!

250.
A. I tend to be serious and don't smile often while conversing.

B. I smile all the time while conversing.

C. I smile at appropriate times while conversing.

Best answer: c. Smiling when greeting people and at appropriate times greatly helps build rapport.

251.
A. When I give a person negative feedback, I do it around others so everyone can hear.

B. When I give a person negative feedback, I do it in front of the supervisor.

C. When I give a person negative feedback, I talk with the person alone in a private place.

Best answer: c. It's always best to meet the person privately and away from other people so others can't hear.

252.
A. When I'm listening to the speaker, I often cross my arms over my chest.

B. When I'm listening to the speaker, I often lean back and turn my body away from the speaker.

C. When I'm listening to the speaker, I often lean slightly forward and face my body toward the speaker.

Best answer: c. Leaning slightly forward and facing the speaker shows you're interested, and it helps build rapport. Sitting with your arms crossed over your chest gives the message you are defensive. Leaning back with your body or turning your body away from the speaker gives the message that you are bored, disinterested, or feel in charge. Such body language breaks down rapport

253.
A. I often stand while talking to a person who is sitting.

B. I often sit while talking to a person who is sitting.

C. I often lean down while talking to a person who is sitting.

Best answer: b. Communicating at eye level helps build rapport. So, if the person is sitting and a chair is available, take a seat! There's one exception - If you walk into your supervisor's office or co-worker's office, it's best to ask the supervisor or co-worker if you can sit down first. Even better, wait for an invitation to sit. The person may not have time to talk at that moment.

254.
A. When someone talks about an unfortunate or sad experience, I don't comment about it.

B. When someone talks about an unfortunate or sad experience, I try to change the subject.

C. When someone talks about an unfortunate or sad experience, I try to relate to the person's feelings and show sensitivity to his or her misfortune.

Best answer: c. Showing empathy (sensitivity) to another person's feelings helps build rapport. It's called "reaching out to people." Empathy can be shown by making comments, such as:

"That must have been a scary (or upsetting) experience for you."
"I felt the same way when that happened to me."
"I know (understand) how you feel."
"I can imagine how you feel."
"I would feel that way too in your situation."

255.
A. When I first meet someone, I wait for the other person to make the introduction first.

B. When I first meet someone, I introduce myself with a smile and offer a handshake.

C. When I first meet someone, I hug the person.

Best answer: B. It's good to initiate the introduction and introduce yourself with a handshake and smile. If shaking hands is difficult, a quick head nod is a good substitute. Initiating the introduction with a smile and handshake (or head nod) helps build rapport.

256.
A. If a co-worker has put on weight, I say nothing about it.

B. If a co-worker has put on weight, I tell the person that he or she has changed in appearance.

C. If a co-worker has put on weight, I honestly tell the person that he or she looks fat.

Best answer: a. It's best to say nothing. Never say anything that might hurt or offend the person. It's called being tactful. It's always best to give compliments only, and only say things that will make the person feel good.

"I like your dress."
"That's a nice shirt."

257.
A. When I discuss a topic, I tend to talk about and focus on positive (good) aspects.

B. When I discuss a topic, I tend to talk about and focus on the negative (bad) aspects.

C. When I discuss a topic, I tend to complain.

Best answer: a. Focusing on the positive (good) aspects draws people's attention in a favorable way, and people enjoy the conversation more. People are generally more attracted to a person who has a "positive outlook on life." And when it comes to work evaluations, positive-minded people generally do better

258.
A. I usually "warm-up" new conversations with small talk.

B. I usually avoid small talk and jump into more important matters.

C. I usually avoid starting conversations.

Best answer: a. It's good to initiate conversations with small talk. Topics to warm-up the conversation might include a chat about the weather, news of interest, or impressions about the current activity (if you're at a meeting, staff party, or other gathering, for example).

259.
A. When I have a negative opinion or comment, I just say it.

B. When I have a negative opinion or comment, I lead in with a positive comment first.

C. When I have a negative opinion or comment, I say nothing.

Best answer: b. It's best to say something positive first, then express a negative opinion or comment in a tactful way.

260.
A. I make an effort to remember and use peoples' names.

B. I don't pay attention to names as I tend to forget them.

C. I only learn the names of important people.

Best answer: a. It's good to call people by name whenever possible. It makes a good, lasting impression, and it makes the other person feel important and special.

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